Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off

(617): View more from Massachusetts

he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.

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(903): View more from Texas

I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.

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(905): View more from Ontario

We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.

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(360): View more from Washington

just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(802): View more from Vermont

He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation

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(210): View more from Texas

Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.

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(305): View more from Florida

YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?

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