I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
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bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.