the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.