Banned from zoo.
Again?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
