butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
