so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
