do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
