Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
