Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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