Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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