You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize