I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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