if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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