To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Randomize