hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
