i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
