she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
