Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!