i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize