Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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