Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm going to jail i love you
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
