TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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