Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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