apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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