I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
