I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize