Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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