Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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