And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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