It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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