Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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