About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
