Me. At least after what I've been through.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
