what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
