I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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