If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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