it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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