he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
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hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
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A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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