did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
