I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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