Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
