I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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