I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the day after is always just damage control
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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