you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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