Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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