I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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