Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
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well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
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I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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