3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize