well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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