I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize