You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
