I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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