all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
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Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
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Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize