return my video game
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
