weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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